I wrote my thematic essay..is it good?

i just finished writing my thematic essay, is it good? did i complete the task fully?





Task


Identify two ethnic, religous, political and/or cultural conflicts, and for each:


-discuss the historical circumstances that led to the conflict


-analyze the effect of this conflict on two groups involved








Differences among groups have often led to conflict. There are many religions that believe they were more powerful than the other. I think the differences among groups have conflicts, because everyone believes something different. What other people find true, others in different religions find it as a joke. With people thinking their religion is the superior one, it led to many religious wars, also known as the Crusades. Another conflict between religions was the Holocaust. Adolf Hitler was a complete Nazi, and he believed Germans were racially superior. He planned on destroying people he found inferior, and his main targets were the Jews.


The Holocaust took place after World War I. Hitler thought Jews were inferior, so he wanted to get rid of them all. To get all Germans on his side, he promised to provide jobs, and rebuild German pride. He stated that Germans were a superior race who was destined to build a new empire. While Hitler was dictator, he built a one-party government, ended civil rights, silenced his enemies with force, put businesses under government control, and employed many people in large public works program. Hitler rearmed Germany and rebuilt its military. Once all Germans were on his side, he made them believe Jews were bad, and don鈥檛 deserve to be here.


Hitler blamed Jews for Germanys problems. He instituted anti-Semitic policies. To push these policies, he used education and the arts as propaganda tools. Hitler and the other Nazis did everything they could to get rid of Jews and ruin their lives. Hitler committed genocide against the Jews for years. On November 8, 1938, organized violence began. Thousands of Jewish synagogues, businesses, cemeteries, schools and homes were destroyed. A day later, 30,000 Jews were arrested for being Jewish, and more restrictive laws on Jews and Jewish businesses began. Jews were also forced to live in separate areas. That wasn鈥檛 even the worst. Hitler soon set up concentration camps, which were death camps. At these camps all Jews, men, woman, and children, were starved, shot, or gassed to death. At the end of the Holocaust, over 6 million Jews were dead.


In the end one religion becomes more powerful then the other. In this case it was the Germans. Although if there weren鈥檛 any problems with other religions fighting over each other, the world would have more peace.











any suggestions on the conclusion, because mine isnt good.|||Your essay is okay. It doesn't complete all that the task asks for, though.


first, your thesis statement should tell the reader what you're going to be writing about in the essay.


second, your intro paragraph is a bit scattered. You started off talking about the religions then ended up talking about the Holocaust.


The holocaust wasn't entirely based on "religion." You could have said something along the lines of how antisemitic Germans sought to purge who they saw as inferior to them. Bottom line is that it's wasn't really because of religion that Hitler decided to wipe out Jews.


The rest of your essay isn't bad. :)





Hope I helped!|||no 1 will give the time of day to read that